Saturday, 25 December 2010
Monday, 20 December 2010
i like to learn. but dont like exam~~~
because i have to sit still and cant spend my time with my family~~~
bye bye schnederian symptoms of first rank....all those typical and atypical drugs...
temporarily...catch u back later....
Tuesday, 14 December 2010
所谓的loss of ego boundary.
Tuesday, 7 December 2010
Sometimes a great escape is needed,to refresh my mind...
To get the mood into the baseline.Not heighten.Not deepen.
Just need the grab.
But,at night,i suffered from insomnia.
Just because of a glass of Hong Kong Milk Tea.
Tuesday, 30 November 2010
Monday, 8 November 2010
Wednesday, 6 October 2010
Sunday, 19 September 2010
“然后你还要（我做）什么？？ ” 这恶劣的词语，竟出自一位白衣天使口中。。。
半途，护士A突然盯着我，指着我说：“你为什么要多事去叫人？？这个是我的病人，不需要你这位medical student插手！！” “你只是个medical student, 你以为你是谁？凭什么插手？？” （你以为你是sister吗？ ）
我火滚了，坚持说 ： “我要在这里，我有我的东西要做，我要看case note。” 你不是sister,你没有权利这么做。
我看了她五秒，给她一个disgusting look, 转身气愤走开了。。。
Saturday, 11 September 2010
1. Remember to look up at the stars and not down at your feet.
2. Never give up work. Work gives u meaning and purpose. Life is empty without it.
3. If u r lucky enough to find love, remember it is rare, and don't throw it away.
~Stephen Hawking.this time not abt bing bang theory, but some advices.
if it really happens, how many ppl would be sacrificed then?
Tuesday, 7 September 2010
so, if u break the wall and reach your dream, is that dream still consider a dream?
or in the end we are not contented because we have so many dreams to achieve?
so what's your dreams?
to me, it's something empowering u, driving u...to move on.with life.
what do i want to reach in my life?
once, i was afraid of drifting and wandering.
Now i ask myself, isn't it i was doing that for the pass 5 years?
Monday, 6 September 2010
Sunday, 29 August 2010
Saturday, 28 August 2010
I learn to forgive, as I dont accumulate tiny minute of unhappy memories to make myself suffer.
Life is short, too short to waste time on hatred.
Why it is so hard for us to say sorry?
Because we dare not admit our own mistake.
In the process of covering our own mistake, anger normally supercedes our conscience.
Instead, I feel sorry for them.
Because they dont' know any better.
Tuesday, 17 August 2010
Sunday, 4 July 2010
Saturday, 8 May 2010
"It is proper for you, Kalamas [the people of the village of Kesaputta], to doubt, to be uncertain; uncertainty has arisen in you about what is doubtful. Come, Kalamas. Do not go upon what has been acquired by repeated hearing; nor upon tradition; nor upon rumor; nor upon what is in a scripture; nor upon surmise; nor upon an axiom; nor upon specious reasoning; nor upon a bias towards a notion that has been pondered over; nor upon another's seeming ability; nor upon the consideration, 'The monk is our teacher.' Kalamas, when you yourselves know: 'These things are bad; these things are blameable; these things are censured by the wise; undertaken and observed, these things lead to harm and ill, abandon them. "...Do not accept anything by mere tradition... Do not accept anything just because it accords with your scriptures... Do not accept anything merely because it agrees with your pre-conceived notions... But when you know for yourselves—these things are moral, these things are blameless, these things are praised by the wise, these things, when performed and undertaken, conduce to well-being and happiness—then do you live acting accordingly."
Friday, 7 May 2010
Monday, 26 April 2010
House MD 里的一句话：
what would you prefer-a doctor who holds your hand while you die or one who ignores you while you get better? I suppose it would particularly suck to have a doctor who ignores you while you die.
Get your armour, get your armour~~it’s like a battlefield, battlefield, a battlefield。。。
Ok, 这边歌颂的不是jordin spark的爱情战场。
所以从今我要穿上装甲！built a great great wall on my face…
因为他们发问及回答问题的空间很大，没有限制。答对答错，lecturers会说well done, or good try, but….所以往往西方人比我们东方人敢发问或回答问题。
再想想一个scenario,一个垂死的老人家及垂死的儿童同时入院，他们都需要进入ICU(Intensive care unit)接受治疗，不然必死无疑。但是ICU只剩下一个床位，你会选择admit谁？
Saturday, 10 April 2010
It is not because we are not hardworking enough, it is simply because we don't have luck.
The only thing that make me sick of labour room....is the never ending waiting for NOTHING...
NOTHING AT ALL.
Ok, now enthusiasm worn out by long hour of waiting...and the monsters keep on scolding us for trivial things or for nothing.No matter u are right or wrong.They just wanna scold u.
And now i had to plead ppl for giving me a chance to deliver, which is something I despise....
Why I had to plead?When this is our priority...When u want us to complete an assignment but there is no good environment and we have to struggle ourselves to survive, this is called 放屁。。。
I hate labour room now. Hate the place. Hate the environment. But not the job. There are still housemans and Drs, nurses who are really nice...
Wednesday, 7 April 2010
Threw out some harsh words...then felt guilty...
Ignore it...it is not important at all...Just break it and make it utterly shattered instead of keeping it...it does not matter...all u have is not merely that...
Don't be childish.u are no kid anymore...do no harm.explain whenever u have chance because the second chance might not ever come. misunderstanding only makes thing worse and worse...and eventually become irreversible...so solve it...
Tuesday, 6 April 2010
你说：It is the SYSTEM that should be changed!
你要照顾病人的QOL,而不是自己的。不要再想往什么QOL-quality of life了。。。你的生活只有quantity。。。改天除了无数quantity的oncall,还是quantity。。。谁撑得最久谁就是赢家。。。
Thursday, 1 April 2010
那一天你问我, 为什么读医科?is this your ambition?
Wednesday, 31 March 2010
i took a nap from 6.30am...thought of waking up at 8.30am and go to tutorial class at 9am...
i dozed off and eventually my friend called me at 9.30am...as usual, i could not sort out what was happening in a short time...and then...SHIT...i was late for class...my heart was pounding very fast...i was very tired but with all my will, i hurried to the class...i cant imagine if this happen if i were a houseman now...luckily i wasn't scold for being late...she should have scolded me...
3 more on calls to go...jia you jia you....
Sunday, 21 March 2010
If you longed for solitude and tranquil life, Banting is a good place.
Quite anxious for next posting, Obstetric posting where we are required to conduct 5 deliveries and do episiotomy repair...what a bloody job..
Read "The Best Laid Plan" by Sidney Sheldon which i borrowed from library of Blok Kuliah. It is recommended by JQ.
And another book entitled " Falling Leaves" by Adeline Yen Mah.
"The Best Laid Plan" is quite a good fiction book if u dont like too many emotional descrtiptions. Dialogues are plenty. It's more like reading a drama then a book. If u wanna try simple fiction, fast pace, without bewildered by bombastic words, this book is a pleasure.
"Falling Leaves" is sista's book. It's an autobiography of Adeline Yen Mah, an unwanted Chinese daughter of a wealthy family. I salute this author for her superb English(maybe my level is too low for her book), her determination to survive a lonely childhood, and her forgiveness towards her families in everything including betrayal of trust.
Few things i derived from this books: Indulgence of beauty of a father, who became irrational and ignorant to the author. most of the time when ppl are trying hard to content their children physically and materially, what really lack of is emotional necessity.
I tend to like books with emotional involvement, books where i can derive a lot of thoughts.
Maybe most of the time i tend to be emotionally detached from reality...
Which if u care much, u hurt yourself much...
I wish I could shed tears whenever I feel sad. I wish I could be fragile.
It become nebulous since when I picked up this camourflage?
Maybe this is what I am trying to search in those books, the long lost emotion for certain things.
Sunday, 7 February 2010
i always belief that this world is unfair.
Fortunately, time treats us equally, regardless of your possession and age.
As time passes, we all gain different experiences, values.
It depends on your ability， to find an equilibrium point.
Learn to accept and adjust to free yourself from the burdened soul.
Then u will find the balancing point.
Saturday, 30 January 2010
She said:"Do not lose your CONSCIENCE while treating your patient. Do not be dishonest to the patient, and to YOURSELF. Do not betray your conscience by telling different fact to your patient. Because of unscrupulous doctor who only thought about profit, now I lose my faith to Doctor.Can you become a good one in the future?"
"I was longing to go to my daughter's graduation, seeing my children getting married. I was a dancer. Now everything is ruined..."
I was in the brink of breaking down.
This was what a terminally ill patient told me, who chooses to end her life gradually at home instead of getting treatment.
Sometimes, we lose ourselves while fulfilling our dreams. We don't realize that we are changing in a way...a way that we can't even recognize ourselves. The power of darkness is overwhelming, that most of the time we surrender our soul...
The darkness is awaiting in the future. You can choose to enter, or retreat.
I hope the advice could help to illuminate me, from the impending darkness which hovers around.
Tuesday, 26 January 2010
I was incidentally found out to be stereotypical blind after reading a 3D chart (Thanks to XX, optometrist-to-be who did a full eye examination for me today. It is free of charge, at UKM's optometrist clinic. Anyone interested to be subject, can contact me)
Ehem...what is that?not much information i can find on Google. It is actually synonym to 3D blindness. I think this is a kind of condition, existing ever since the invention of 3D and advancing technologies.
If I were born 100 years earlier, should have no problem right? Television doesnt even exist that time.
The frustration was like this: You give me a blank page and ask me to read, i said i see nothing, but actually the reading lines do exist, you just can't see it.
It is like telling someone with colour-blind, try to imagine these colours: red, orange, yellow, pink....can u actually describe COLOURS?And tell one who doesn't even know its existence to imagine about?
My sis said i should be grateful that i am not colour-blind...
i said yeah lo...like u tell a colour-blinded person, u r lucky that u r not blind...
like telling a person without hands,u are lucky that you still have legs...
like telling a handicapped person, u are lucky that you sitll alive....
so, the lesson?appreciate whatever u have and 感恩？
Nothing serious actually...
I dont know i should be happy or sad....happy because i can save money for watching further 3D movies...sad because i cannot enjoy the 3D technologies anymore
If i were not told, will I still believe that I could see 3D like other people do? I even spent RM18 to watch world renowned 3D AVATAR...n i believe i was normal.
Do check yourself with friends around, maybe u have the same problem. I am searching for a new member.haha.....
Saturday, 23 January 2010
Did my general practice posting(GP) at Poliklinik Shaik at Kota Kemuning, Shah Alam. It's merely 4 minutes of driving from cousin's place. Was nervous the first day coz didn't know whether the Dr is going to be demanding or strict?Felt a little stressed up as i have to encounter this on my own.
The first day i went there, was wearing jeans and T-shirt before changing into formal attire. Didn't realise that i was in fact captured by 4 CCTVs it the clinic...
I like the lamps and the lavender at the receptionist counter. The lighting and paintings remind me of Pizze Hut...
3 permanent staffnesses and 7 temporary workers working under this Poliklinik. Workers were busy at the receptionist counter.
Was suppose to spend 5 working day here, but since got tutorials and MPIS, i went there on the 4th working day at 7pm. I was worry whether i was able to complete my 50 patient's profile. But after 3 hours, I know it was not a problem. Dr seen more than 40 patients in 3 hours...
Inside the consultation room there was a framed stethoscope on the wall. It was Dr's first stethoscope given by his late father. Initially Dr's ambition was to be a pilot, but was then inspired by his late father to become a Dr. He graduated with first class from Manipal. Wow.
There were newly installed CCTVs, whereby Dr can monitor the receptionist counter, drug dispensing and waiting areas...
UFEME and full blood count can be analysed by these machine at the bottom. The machine above is for what huh...
ECG stress test.Just before i left the clinic today, was able to have a glimpse of ECG stress test. The room was well equipped with oxygen tank and defibrillator.....in case patient collapse.....
Advanced ECG recording..
Dr Shaik and nerdy I...
Despite just 3 days...i was able to see more than 100 patients...n befriended with the staffness.
Sunday, 10 January 2010