Back to oncall system

Am doing paediatrics rotation now...whereby there's no shift system here....every week has to do 2 calls...each time has to work for 30 hours...then you get one and half day off..At least it is better than last time...where you dont get PM off and the next day you still have to work as usual...which is very exhausting.

I find myself quite ok with 6A call..learned a lot during my call.And importantly dealing with young kids. Just don't like NICU call...dont have confidence dealing with fragile livings...
Clerked an occular myasthenia gravis case during on call, who presented with bilateral drooping of eyelids at the end of the day for one month. And assisted in doing Tensilon test!!First time seeing.
Very excited to see the kid's eyes recovered after intramuscular injection of neostigmine. Thanks to the specialist.Great inspiration to move on...

Next week will be doing 3 oncalls....sigh...Hope it is a motivating one...

Feel dumb.Blessed.Grateful

Cant believe myself.Never thought of doing this.
I've studied this page few times only...Everytime when I assisted, I couldn't really appreciate what they were doing as the Lanz incision is so small and always the abdomen layers appear to be so thick and deep to peep inside.
Not until i was offered a chance to do it two days back!
I felt so dumb for not mastering my tie knot.Since medical school i was not good...Feel like bang my head to the wall...
But i am blessed with a good registrar who taught me patiently from skin incision until we found the appendix together...
The feeling of cutting was so exciting!
When both of us found the appendix, he said:"it's all yours"...
He is such a nice MO...I will call him my BOSS...:D
Suddenly, it's so inspiring...I think I will miss this posting because of him...and some other nice MOs
Surgery posting is not that bad after all...
If I were to become a surgeon, then this is the turning point.
But I know I am not gonna be..

Of course, because of me, a simple operation that normally takes 30 minutes became one and half hour.Finally he has proceeded fast in order not to fuss up the anaest.
Anyway, feel blessed to be supervised by him and I am very grateful.:D

TLC

Had a chance to go to palliative care unit for one week.

In palliative care unit, when a patient passes away, their family members remain calm and cool.

No denial, no anger, no hysterical cries.

Dato asked me why? I couldn't answer.

" Because at the time when the family members were told that the patient had a terminally ill disease, they already started to mourn. This is called anticipatory grief."

"So from the diagnosis to death, if it is 3 years, they have been mourning for 3 years."

"So when a patient eventually dies, it may be a relief for the family members."
No wonder. People cry hysterically when someone dies unexpectedly.

Because the death is too sudden.

Because they feel that they have not done enough for the deceased.

Because they feel guilty.

Have you ever had feeling of impending lost?
Or something important in your life is just about to, go?

It's sad to even think of it.

请尊重生命

最讨厌百忙中，还要clerk 那些想寻死的人。

死不成，还要浪费别人宝贵时间、人力资源。。。

如果你不珍惜生命了，如果可以跟不想死，却白死的人交换。

那，请交给我。可以吗？

好多人想活都没选择了，你们却在哪儿浪费生命。

多奢侈。

Tired...depressed...working for almost 20 days without a break...
I need a break, seriously gonna be depressed...
I smiled, it doesnt mean that i m happy...
I worked as usual, it doesnt mean that I enjoy it a lot lately
It's just an art of life...

不知道为何我总是那么多事。。。心又软。。。

今天听到一位病人家属说：“谢谢你的电话charger,它对我很有用，我妈今早过世了。。。

我想起他昨天向我借东西时，我问他，重要吗？他说：“重要，这关系生死。。。。
如果没有的话，我没办法通知我家人来见她最后一面。。。”

我们一起塔电梯。他把charger还我。我没多说什么。电梯在八楼开了。。。
只见一个银色coffin, 他迎上去，我突然觉得很难过。

缺陷与尊严.The Disabled Pride

在诊所看病。
有一个新的领悟。
其实看了太多这样的case了。有些反胃。

生病，是让人从现实生活暂时逃避的一个出口，尤其是懦弱得可怜的人。
他们宁可向病痛投降，也不愿意面对现实。因为现实往往比病痛更血淋淋！
因为一点点病痛，宁愿选择呆在家不做工整年或一世，对，是一世！
因为无法承受生活中的压力，企图把它转移别人身上。
让妻子扛起家里所有事，包括挣卑微的钱养一家大大小小和那些懦夫！

确实，你折断了一条腿是很痛，但它会痊愈的。
请在痊愈后回到工作岗位吧，别拿那些无谓的长假，长期躲在女人背后，让女人养你。不要脸。

曾经，在我很累、很颓废、很沮丧、很忧郁时，好想生一场大病，让我有时间好好休息，暂时逃避责任、喘口气。但那只是闪过脑袋的一丝想法。往往有这种想法时，都会吸口气，甩掉它。

那些人，简直滥用生病的权利！
生病时当然会得到相对合理的病假，但那不是理所当然的权利。
有者甚至只因为plantar fasciitis（即heel那里生了骨刺而导致脚板疼痛）而想借此申请成为OKU-即orang kurang upaya.

明明可以走路，怎会有人宁可选择当残障人士也不愿工作？不明白。。。
当身体有缺陷的人很努力的想有正常的生活时，却也有正常的人努力想变成残障人士。。。



努力的生活着，即使卑微的工作，即使有缺陷，却也活得有尊严。。。



倘若没人可依靠，没选择时，你会选择什么？smile and embrace life or become dependant?

1

I am hungry...why am I looking at food blog...stop and go to sleep!
Trying hard to beat carbohydrate craving!!
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Today was the first time I was late to work place....woke up at 6.52am despite slept earlier the night before...rushed to work at 7.15am...reached ward 7.20am...only able to review one patient and rushed to daily pass over round at 7.30am...Luckily I wasn't permanent houseman...was posted at clinic from morning until 5pm,that's the happiest moment.No ward works,yay!:) then A&E shift from 5-9pm.clerked one open fracture..Around 9pm when was about to leave,2 patients deteriorated simultaneously and needed resuscitation in the ward, which is rare occasion as there wont be many emergency cases for orthopaedics other than fat embolism, open fracture, compartment syndrome,blah blah...in reality. Stayed back to be Kepochi...to learn how to resus patient,practically.The scariest thing that i am afraid to encounter now is when patient collapses, I will be panic and alone and dont know what to do.So it is good to stay back and helped the senior houseman...So that i know what to look for next time when patient collapses.

Will be attending Basic Life Support course on 20/12/11. Hope it is helpful.

Acute病床的一位病人今天离去了。
看着他多日了，愿以为他可以活下去的，却离开了。
而隔壁病床病得很重的病人，已经被CPR一次，Intubated两次，全身长满scabies，因为necrotising fasciitis得败血症而被迫据掉整条腿至hip joint，因为生命顽固得很，活了下来，且正康复中。大家原本以为他死定了。。。

伤感是有些，但必须转身，因为ward里一堆事情处理，连哀悼的时间都没，就必须处理病人们的点点滴滴。。。
不是没人性，只是负担不起屡次受伤，所以冷漠。