醉了的感觉是这样吗？
觉得很热，又轻飘飘的。很想吐。。。
很不好受。。。觉得身体都吃坏了。。。
这次并没睡着。。。
她们说我醉了都会睡觉。。。
这是四杯红酒下肚的后果。但我还很清醒。
可以写case summary,不错吧。。。
Sunday, 7 February 2010
时间的正义
我相信世界是不公平的。。。
庆幸的是，时间决不会因你贫富老少而眷顾、厚待你。
也许，随着时间的流逝，大家得到的，是价值不一的人生经验、心境和体验。
是看你如何衡量，才能达到平衡点。
看开一些，就能解开心灵束缚。
这样想，会平衡一点。
i always belief that this world is unfair.
Fortunately, time treats us equally, regardless of your possession and age.
As time passes, we all gain different experiences, values.
It depends on your ability， to find an equilibrium point.
Learn to accept and adjust to free yourself from the burdened soul.
Then u will find the balancing point.
Saturday, 30 January 2010
Darkness
She said:"Do not lose your CONSCIENCE while treating your patient. Do not be dishonest to the patient, and to YOURSELF. Do not betray your conscience by telling different fact to your patient. Because of unscrupulous doctor who only thought about profit, now I lose my faith to Doctor.Can you become a good one in the future?"
"I was longing to go to my daughter's graduation, seeing my children getting married. I was a dancer. Now everything is ruined..."
I was in the brink of breaking down.
This was what a terminally ill patient told me, who chooses to end her life gradually at home instead of getting treatment.
Sometimes, we lose ourselves while fulfilling our dreams. We don't realize that we are changing in a way...a way that we can't even recognize ourselves. The power of darkness is overwhelming, that most of the time we surrender our soul...
The darkness is awaiting in the future. You can choose to enter, or retreat.
I hope the advice could help to illuminate me, from the impending darkness which hovers around.
Tuesday, 26 January 2010
BLIND...
If you are born colour-blinded, and no one tells you there are actually something called COLOURS in this world, you will stay colour-blinded the rest of your life without knowing that this world is embellished with beautiful colours.
I was incidentally found out to be stereotypical blind after reading a 3D chart (Thanks to XX, optometrist-to-be who did a full eye examination for me today. It is free of charge, at UKM's optometrist clinic. Anyone interested to be subject, can contact me)
Ehem...what is that?not much information i can find on Google. It is actually synonym to 3D blindness. I think this is a kind of condition, existing ever since the invention of 3D and advancing technologies.
If I were born 100 years earlier, should have no problem right? Television doesnt even exist that time.
The frustration was like this: You give me a blank page and ask me to read, i said i see nothing, but actually the reading lines do exist, you just can't see it.
It is like telling someone with colour-blind, try to imagine these colours: red, orange, yellow, pink....can u actually describe COLOURS?And tell one who doesn't even know its existence to imagine about?
My sis said i should be grateful that i am not colour-blind...
i said yeah lo...like u tell a colour-blinded person, u r lucky that u r not blind...
like telling a person without hands,u are lucky that you still have legs...
like telling a handicapped person, u are lucky that you sitll alive....
so, the lesson?appreciate whatever u have and 感恩？
Nothing serious actually...
I dont know i should be happy or sad....happy because i can save money for watching further 3D movies...sad because i cannot enjoy the 3D technologies anymore
If i were not told, will I still believe that I could see 3D like other people do? I even spent RM18 to watch world renowned 3D AVATAR...n i believe i was normal.
Do check yourself with friends around, maybe u have the same problem. I am searching for a new member.haha.....
I was incidentally found out to be stereotypical blind after reading a 3D chart (Thanks to XX, optometrist-to-be who did a full eye examination for me today. It is free of charge, at UKM's optometrist clinic. Anyone interested to be subject, can contact me)
Ehem...what is that?not much information i can find on Google. It is actually synonym to 3D blindness. I think this is a kind of condition, existing ever since the invention of 3D and advancing technologies.
If I were born 100 years earlier, should have no problem right? Television doesnt even exist that time.
The frustration was like this: You give me a blank page and ask me to read, i said i see nothing, but actually the reading lines do exist, you just can't see it.
It is like telling someone with colour-blind, try to imagine these colours: red, orange, yellow, pink....can u actually describe COLOURS?And tell one who doesn't even know its existence to imagine about?
My sis said i should be grateful that i am not colour-blind...
i said yeah lo...like u tell a colour-blinded person, u r lucky that u r not blind...
like telling a person without hands,u are lucky that you still have legs...
like telling a handicapped person, u are lucky that you sitll alive....
so, the lesson?appreciate whatever u have and 感恩？
Nothing serious actually...
I dont know i should be happy or sad....happy because i can save money for watching further 3D movies...sad because i cannot enjoy the 3D technologies anymore
If i were not told, will I still believe that I could see 3D like other people do? I even spent RM18 to watch world renowned 3D AVATAR...n i believe i was normal.
Do check yourself with friends around, maybe u have the same problem. I am searching for a new member.haha.....
Saturday, 23 January 2010
In a Private Clinic
Did my general practice posting(GP) at Poliklinik Shaik at Kota Kemuning, Shah Alam. It's merely 4 minutes of driving from cousin's place. Was nervous the first day coz didn't know whether the Dr is going to be demanding or strict?Felt a little stressed up as i have to encounter this on my own.
The first day i went there, was wearing jeans and T-shirt before changing into formal attire. Didn't realise that i was in fact captured by 4 CCTVs it the clinic...
I like the lamps and the lavender at the receptionist counter. The lighting and paintings remind me of Pizze Hut...
3 permanent staffnesses and 7 temporary workers working under this Poliklinik. Workers were busy at the receptionist counter.
Was suppose to spend 5 working day here, but since got tutorials and MPIS, i went there on the 4th working day at 7pm. I was worry whether i was able to complete my 50 patient's profile. But after 3 hours, I know it was not a problem. Dr seen more than 40 patients in 3 hours...
Inside the consultation room there was a framed stethoscope on the wall. It was Dr's first stethoscope given by his late father. Initially Dr's ambition was to be a pilot, but was then inspired by his late father to become a Dr. He graduated with first class from Manipal. Wow.
There were newly installed CCTVs, whereby Dr can monitor the receptionist counter, drug dispensing and waiting areas...
UFEME and full blood count can be analysed by these machine at the bottom. The machine above is for what huh...
Drug storage...
ECG stress test.Just before i left the clinic today, was able to have a glimpse of ECG stress test. The room was well equipped with oxygen tank and defibrillator.....in case patient collapse.....
Advanced ECG recording..
Dr Shaik and nerdy I...
Despite just 3 days...i was able to see more than 100 patients...n befriended with the staffness.
Sunday, 10 January 2010
复杂vs简单
你把别人想得太复杂，
也是因为你也不简单。
也是因为你也不简单。
能看透别人的阴谋，是不是因为自己也有心机？
世上还有单纯的人吗？如果有，是装出来吗？
迟早会被荼毒。这样的人很难在世上生存。
有些人是真单纯，但单纯不能和懵懂相提并论。有些人蒙头蒙脑，但他并不单纯。
世界是复杂的。就因为复杂，才有纠纷、不合，才有战争。
社会是残酷的，想要不复杂都不行，因为身边的人都会神机妙算，让简单的你束手无策。
所以出社会工作的人，都会怀念读书的日子，因为那时的大家，都还没那么复杂。
不要讨厌政治，因为思想就是政治。
就因为大家的想法不同，才会进入不同帮派。
所以自你懂事以来，就在政治里打滚。
有没有简单一点的世界？
那里就是乌托邦。
不太能够接受越辩越复杂的自己。。。
那里就是乌托邦。
不太能够接受越辩越复杂的自己。。。
Saturday, 19 December 2009
大地不属于人类，而人类属于大地
无意间读到一篇于18年前的报道，说地球已经有四十六亿的岁数，如果把这四十六亿浓缩成30天，生命在第10 天形成，而人类，只不过在一分钟前出生。。。
美国印第安酋长西雅图在100多年前就曾指出：“大地不属于人类，而人类属于大地。一切都是相互关连，所有发生在大地的事情，必将回应到人类身上……对大地的伤害，是对造物主的轻蔑。如果你弄脏了自己的环境，总有一天会窒息在你所丟弃的垃圾之中。”
这一句让我想到了wall-E。地球被人类遗弃，因为它的环境不再适合人类居住。而垃圾的罪魁祸首，是人类。
也让我想到avatar里，人类把贪婪建筑在别的星球上。omaticaya 族群参杂了原住民色彩，是我喜欢的。
原住民把大地归于造物主, 他们爱他们的造物主，也爱这片大地，完美的融化于这片大地。偏偏，他们却是被打压、遗忘的族群。澳洲甚至出现stolen generations，既是原住民的小孩被拿走，以「白化」原居民。。。
而有着信仰造物主的其他人类，却肆无忌惮的摧毁这片大地！多么无耻。
人类不过在一分钟前出生。
人类不过是宇宙中连细菌都不如的微生物,又何得何能,认为世界是属于他们的?
愚蠢的人类，甚至还用国际、肤色、性别、宗教、信仰，来区别人类。
殊不知，人类属于大地。
美国印第安酋长西雅图在100多年前就曾指出：“大地不属于人类，而人类属于大地。一切都是相互关连，所有发生在大地的事情，必将回应到人类身上……对大地的伤害，是对造物主的轻蔑。如果你弄脏了自己的环境，总有一天会窒息在你所丟弃的垃圾之中。”
这一句让我想到了wall-E。地球被人类遗弃，因为它的环境不再适合人类居住。而垃圾的罪魁祸首，是人类。
也让我想到avatar里，人类把贪婪建筑在别的星球上。omaticaya 族群参杂了原住民色彩，是我喜欢的。
原住民把大地归于造物主, 他们爱他们的造物主，也爱这片大地，完美的融化于这片大地。偏偏，他们却是被打压、遗忘的族群。澳洲甚至出现stolen generations，既是原住民的小孩被拿走，以「白化」原居民。。。
而有着信仰造物主的其他人类，却肆无忌惮的摧毁这片大地！多么无耻。
人类不过在一分钟前出生。
人类不过是宇宙中连细菌都不如的微生物,又何得何能,认为世界是属于他们的?
愚蠢的人类，甚至还用国际、肤色、性别、宗教、信仰，来区别人类。
殊不知，人类属于大地。
遇难记
从来不知道水灾会为我带来什么麻烦，因为monsoon间，印象中小时侯家里只淹过一次水，不严重，过后每次家乡哪里淹水也只是抱着看戏心态。。。这次终于体会到水的“杀伤”力了。。。
爸爸的车只有豆般小，水稍微退后可见两小车登。。。
路人帮忙把爸爸的车推上岸。
我们就坐在贵人货车后厢里。。。
妈妈落难。。。
我落难，手里还拿着险些便咸菜的张爱玲一百句。。。。
接近一个礼拜没下雨，有些反常。昨天半夜又突然下起雨来。。。
早上，和爸妈、三伯去哥打巴鲁佛教会馆参加大伯的丧礼。
大伯享年97高龄，很遗憾没机会见他最后一面。但是能够活到这样高龄，死而无憾。
接近傍晚七时我们开车回吉赖。老天好像特别爱哭。。。泪直流不停。有倾盆大雨、有毛毛细雨。。。
到了Bukit Sireh,我们得送三伯回家。
三伯家在蛮偏僻的小山上。需要经过一段小路才会抵达。
刚进小路不久，凡经过之处必水花四溅。路途很黑暗，没有路灯，爸爸也看不到前路是否有更多积水。。。眼见水有五公分高，爸妈有些犹豫要不要往前驾驶。
但是三伯坚持说：“这是最深（指大概五公分）的水了，前面是较高的地方，前方有火车路的地方是没有淹水的。。。”过了不久，真的没什么水了，就放下心中大石。
但是右手边有几辆车子停着，显然前方有什么问题，不敢向前。
爸爸依然向前驾驶，因为三伯要回家，说前方应该没什么水。
我们又再次驶入了有水的一段路，水看起来很浅。。。
前方又很黑暗，根本不能预测水的深度。 所以继续往前走。
之后越觉得不对劲，因为水位越来越深。这回深到车轮的深度。
爸爸应该是想：既然都驾到这里了，就驾快一点，反正退后也很困难。
只见水位越升越高。坐在wira里面的我们，开始担心过不了这临时形成的小河。。。
眼前的水还是没有尽头，驾驶了接近400m, 我们毫无退路，也不能停止。爸只有往前冲。。。
爸爸车子引擎霍地作响，车子与水的摩擦很吃力，加上引擎进水了，开始丧失功能。
水位已经高得足以遮住前面的车灯了，车灯再也照不了前方，我们担心的问题出现了--水开始溢进车内！
我和妈妈开始荒起来。你可以想象那种心情吗？车子被水围着，进退两难，伸手不见五指，前方大约还有100m才有车子（代表前方一百米后有陆地），水又快速的溢进车内，车内又有82岁高龄的老人家，车子引擎开始丧失功能。。。我心里想：从车子出去后，我们四人会不会被洪水冲走？明天报子头条会不会是：一家四口参加丧礼后，回家路途被洪水冲走。。。？
就在车子“死火”之前，我们来得及把四面车镜迅速摇下。。。
因为听说如果车子被水包围，一定要把窗子摇下，这样当车内、车外的水压一样了，才可以把车门打开。。。
成功把门打开后，我们走出水中。这时爸爸的手机被水冲走了。。。幸好我来得及拯救我的手机和camera，也来得及把张爱玲的一百句、妈妈一双美鞋、一包dokong(三伯给的水果）胡乱的丢上dashboard。
水深至大腿，我和妈妈扶着三伯，走向前方一百米向别人求救。雨水（洪水？ ）流过我们脚间，虽然不至于把我们冲走，但力量强大得我们得互扶才不至于跌倒。
爸爸则忍痛把车子留在水中，接受二度打击。。。
走了50m，三伯气喘病发。吵着要掏出身上的inhaler。所幸找到。多害怕inhaler 会掉进水里。。。
只见他扑、扑、扑、扑、扑连续五下，我看傻了眼，因为我不记得可以这样连续喷五下，而且他的technique完全错了。但我来不及阻止！没办法，在水上病发很难控制。。。
到了岸上，他又连续喷了几下。。。
多谢遇到两位贵人，把妈妈、三伯和我载回三伯家。放下三伯后，我把inhaler药盒拿起来看，上面写着：caution, it is very dangerous to use overdose.我告诉三伯，不可以一次用那么多puff.
这一回我领悟到，医生一定要好好给病人明确instruction，尤其哮喘病，不然，这可以是致命的失误啊~！
早上，和爸妈、三伯去哥打巴鲁佛教会馆参加大伯的丧礼。
大伯享年97高龄，很遗憾没机会见他最后一面。但是能够活到这样高龄，死而无憾。
接近傍晚七时我们开车回吉赖。老天好像特别爱哭。。。泪直流不停。有倾盆大雨、有毛毛细雨。。。
到了Bukit Sireh,我们得送三伯回家。
三伯家在蛮偏僻的小山上。需要经过一段小路才会抵达。
刚进小路不久，凡经过之处必水花四溅。路途很黑暗，没有路灯，爸爸也看不到前路是否有更多积水。。。眼见水有五公分高，爸妈有些犹豫要不要往前驾驶。
但是三伯坚持说：“这是最深（指大概五公分）的水了，前面是较高的地方，前方有火车路的地方是没有淹水的。。。”过了不久，真的没什么水了，就放下心中大石。
但是右手边有几辆车子停着，显然前方有什么问题，不敢向前。
爸爸依然向前驾驶，因为三伯要回家，说前方应该没什么水。
我们又再次驶入了有水的一段路，水看起来很浅。。。
前方又很黑暗，根本不能预测水的深度。 所以继续往前走。
之后越觉得不对劲，因为水位越来越深。这回深到车轮的深度。
爸爸应该是想：既然都驾到这里了，就驾快一点，反正退后也很困难。
只见水位越升越高。坐在wira里面的我们，开始担心过不了这临时形成的小河。。。
眼前的水还是没有尽头，驾驶了接近400m, 我们毫无退路，也不能停止。爸只有往前冲。。。
爸爸车子引擎霍地作响，车子与水的摩擦很吃力，加上引擎进水了，开始丧失功能。
水位已经高得足以遮住前面的车灯了，车灯再也照不了前方，我们担心的问题出现了--水开始溢进车内！
我和妈妈开始荒起来。你可以想象那种心情吗？车子被水围着，进退两难，伸手不见五指，前方大约还有100m才有车子（代表前方一百米后有陆地），水又快速的溢进车内，车内又有82岁高龄的老人家，车子引擎开始丧失功能。。。我心里想：从车子出去后，我们四人会不会被洪水冲走？明天报子头条会不会是：一家四口参加丧礼后，回家路途被洪水冲走。。。？
就在车子“死火”之前，我们来得及把四面车镜迅速摇下。。。
因为听说如果车子被水包围，一定要把窗子摇下，这样当车内、车外的水压一样了，才可以把车门打开。。。
成功把门打开后，我们走出水中。这时爸爸的手机被水冲走了。。。幸好我来得及拯救我的手机和camera，也来得及把张爱玲的一百句、妈妈一双美鞋、一包dokong(三伯给的水果）胡乱的丢上dashboard。
水深至大腿，我和妈妈扶着三伯，走向前方一百米向别人求救。雨水（洪水？ ）流过我们脚间，虽然不至于把我们冲走，但力量强大得我们得互扶才不至于跌倒。
爸爸则忍痛把车子留在水中，接受二度打击。。。
走了50m，三伯气喘病发。吵着要掏出身上的inhaler。所幸找到。多害怕inhaler 会掉进水里。。。
只见他扑、扑、扑、扑、扑连续五下，我看傻了眼，因为我不记得可以这样连续喷五下，而且他的technique完全错了。但我来不及阻止！没办法，在水上病发很难控制。。。
到了岸上，他又连续喷了几下。。。
多谢遇到两位贵人，把妈妈、三伯和我载回三伯家。放下三伯后，我把inhaler药盒拿起来看，上面写着：caution, it is very dangerous to use overdose.我告诉三伯，不可以一次用那么多puff.
这一回我领悟到，医生一定要好好给病人明确instruction，尤其哮喘病，不然，这可以是致命的失误啊~！
爸爸的车只有豆般小，水稍微退后可见两小车登。。。
路人帮忙把爸爸的车推上岸。
我们就坐在贵人货车后厢里。。。
妈妈落难。。。
我落难，手里还拿着险些便咸菜的张爱玲一百句。。。。
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