Sunday, 5 June 2016
Thursday, 12 March 2015
Tuesday, 13 January 2015
Sad
My grieving started when i got to know you have cancer...
And basically, the mourning process set in...
Because i know it is the deadliest cancer.And no one can stop it...not even chemo, or radiotherapy.
When you left 6 months later, I kept thinking...
The memories seem frozen, in a time...where you were still alive.
When i tried my best to remember,the last memories you that you can give.
"Becareful when you are driving.Dont go back so late!"
This was your last advice to me, which was so loud, and till now still reverberates in my mind.
Even though i know in the past you met some failure in life.
No one is forever successful and who doesnt even have the lowest point of life?
But you never fail treating me like a daughter.
When i saw that in your diary, you have a plan for this coming chinese new year...which is to invite us, friends and relative to have new year meal.You even listed it out one by one, and what to eat, where to order the food..I just cant hold it anymore...
______________________________________________________________________________
You were positive...
You said your coughing was due to eating too much of pickles...
You will gain back your strength after you have appetite to eat...
I bought multivitamins and chicken essence for you, I dont know...how much you can have
Before i went to Japan, you asked me to buy you a light colour polo shirt...
But it was winter in Japan...i couldnt find any thing that match it...
You used to give me pocket money when I studied...
I used to study on your writing table.
And woke up at 4.30am to find you sitting in living room alone huffing and puffing...
You often brought me to makan and send me to hostels...
Was i regret for not asking you to stop smoking?
Yes...it may spare you another 10 years?
No... I cant beat the ageing..and genetics that contribute to that.
At the last moment, it doesn't make any changes...as long as you are happy.
You are always proud of us...
And i havent got time to pay you back.
I hope there is no suffering.
At the place you now call home.
"We are just visitors to this time, this place.
We are just passing though.
Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love...
And then we return home."The Australian Aborigines.
And basically, the mourning process set in...
Because i know it is the deadliest cancer.And no one can stop it...not even chemo, or radiotherapy.
When you left 6 months later, I kept thinking...
The memories seem frozen, in a time...where you were still alive.
When i tried my best to remember,the last memories you that you can give.
"Becareful when you are driving.Dont go back so late!"
This was your last advice to me, which was so loud, and till now still reverberates in my mind.
Even though i know in the past you met some failure in life.
No one is forever successful and who doesnt even have the lowest point of life?
But you never fail treating me like a daughter.
When i saw that in your diary, you have a plan for this coming chinese new year...which is to invite us, friends and relative to have new year meal.You even listed it out one by one, and what to eat, where to order the food..I just cant hold it anymore...
______________________________________________________________________________
You were positive...
You said your coughing was due to eating too much of pickles...
You will gain back your strength after you have appetite to eat...
I bought multivitamins and chicken essence for you, I dont know...how much you can have
Before i went to Japan, you asked me to buy you a light colour polo shirt...
But it was winter in Japan...i couldnt find any thing that match it...
You used to give me pocket money when I studied...
I used to study on your writing table.
And woke up at 4.30am to find you sitting in living room alone huffing and puffing...
You often brought me to makan and send me to hostels...
Was i regret for not asking you to stop smoking?
Yes...it may spare you another 10 years?
No... I cant beat the ageing..and genetics that contribute to that.
At the last moment, it doesn't make any changes...as long as you are happy.
You are always proud of us...
And i havent got time to pay you back.
I hope there is no suffering.
At the place you now call home.
"We are just visitors to this time, this place.
We are just passing though.
Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love...
And then we return home."The Australian Aborigines.
Friday, 28 November 2014
Occult Malignan-me...?
Most of the people find me approachable and nice...
Lately finding myself more and more difficult to contain my anger.
If I am too nice, people kind of take advantages on me.
I need to be calm. I think I need to learn some anger management skills...
Something is missing.
Lately finding myself more and more difficult to contain my anger.
If I am too nice, people kind of take advantages on me.
I need to be calm. I think I need to learn some anger management skills...
Something is missing.
Tuesday, 25 November 2014
Fight!
Cooked a considerably 'sumptious' dinner for myself before heading to study...surprisingly cannot finish...full!
Pastas are not my favourite,but i guess people surrounding me are influencing me...believe or not.This is the first time cooking pasta in solo.
Monday, 22 September 2014
Wine!
好像是发现酒精对我而言，像安眠药。。。喝了特别好睡觉。。。
以前红酒就是红酒。。。没什么分别。。。
第一个懂得的红酒是Merlot，表姐夫说女生都比较喜欢这一类型。
现在知道红酒有好多种。。
从Pinot Noir, Merlot, Cabernet Sauvignon,到Syraz.
从味蕾感觉被刺激虐待到体会其中的tannin, acidity, sweet, fruity, oak...
不爱syraz...可能还没买到好喝的。
冰箱里那一只摆到可以丢了。
即时是Merlot,不一样的每一瓶，都会给舌尖上不一样的酸甜苦度。
有人说每个人的味蕾是独一无二的，所以品尝出来的味道、感觉都及其不同。
一个法国人对我说过，
没有最好的酒，只有你喜欢的酒。
现在exploring white whine...好爱Moscato...!
我开始幻想如果我有一个家，除了咖啡机。。。我要有个小小的wine cellar。。。
发现到一个很好的网站。。。winefolly.com...让学习wine变得很轻松！
Before i go to sleep, cheers!
Sunday, 22 June 2014
Saturday, 21 June 2014
Yeah.Almost A Year....
As you said...almost a year without a post. I should update myself again.
I am fine here. Spending a year, living a life of solitude but I enjoy it.
It gives me more time to learn about myself.
Of course on and off I did write.
But It's just negative emotions that I do not like to reveal.
No place is safer than your heart and brain.
Life has up and down.
I guess it's time to move on and to think about next destination.
Looking forward to July and December...
I am fine here. Spending a year, living a life of solitude but I enjoy it.
It gives me more time to learn about myself.
Of course on and off I did write.
But It's just negative emotions that I do not like to reveal.
No place is safer than your heart and brain.
Life has up and down.
I guess it's time to move on and to think about next destination.
Looking forward to July and December...
Tuesday, 25 June 2013
Blue
It's been some time since I really spend time on blogging...
Anyhow,this is just a virtual space...
You cannot get to know a person well just via a blog, right.
But I admit lately I am feeling blue.
19 June 2013 was the day I ended my housemanship at HRPB.
Going to report to Hosp Slim River on 1st July...
Damn,time really waits for no man
Still can remember how i started my first posting in O&G department and then orthopaedics,medical,surgical,paediatrics and finally anaesthesiology...
I do not know what posting I am going to get for my MO ship.Sad to say that,but most of us really cannot decide on what we really want in this critical period in Perak state.
I feel envy,towards my friends at other state, where they can stay back in tertiary hospital in the department they like.
Whereas our fate is being tossed by the superior.
Well,for them we need to menjunjung perintah kerajaan...keputusan always muktamad while some people still able to pull string.
Sometimes just feel fed up.
No wonder more and more people leaving to Singapore...
Ah,just hope can go into medical or anesthesiology department.
Anyhow,this is just a virtual space...
You cannot get to know a person well just via a blog, right.
But I admit lately I am feeling blue.
19 June 2013 was the day I ended my housemanship at HRPB.
Going to report to Hosp Slim River on 1st July...
Damn,time really waits for no man
Still can remember how i started my first posting in O&G department and then orthopaedics,medical,surgical,paediatrics and finally anaesthesiology...
I do not know what posting I am going to get for my MO ship.Sad to say that,but most of us really cannot decide on what we really want in this critical period in Perak state.
I feel envy,towards my friends at other state, where they can stay back in tertiary hospital in the department they like.
Whereas our fate is being tossed by the superior.
Well,for them we need to menjunjung perintah kerajaan...keputusan always muktamad while some people still able to pull string.
Sometimes just feel fed up.
No wonder more and more people leaving to Singapore...
Ah,just hope can go into medical or anesthesiology department.
Monday, 20 May 2013
True/False questions
3 True/false questions in my life that I will never forget:
1)Malaysia exports rice.
2)You can listen to your own heart sounds.
3)"Negaraku" means our national anthem.
But I will never forget the answers, to me are funny.
1)Malaysia exports rice.
2)You can listen to your own heart sounds.
3)"Negaraku" means our national anthem.
But I will never forget the answers, to me are funny.
Thursday, 7 February 2013
Wednesday, 12 December 2012
12/12/12
结束了今天，要等个一百年，才会从轮到有1/1/1，2/2/2，3/3/3，etc 的日子。
上世纪的人也是这么看待这一天吗？
如果今天能许个愿望，那我只有一个愿望。
不过我是 一个这样的人，不知到要许什么，最后抱头大睡算了。
上世纪的人也是这么看待这一天吗？
如果今天能许个愿望，那我只有一个愿望。
不过我是 一个这样的人，不知到要许什么，最后抱头大睡算了。
Tuesday, 4 December 2012
Sunday, 11 November 2012
Back to oncall system
Am doing paediatrics rotation now...whereby there's no shift system here....every week has to do 2 calls...each time has to work for 30 hours...then you get one and half day off..At least it is better than last time...where you dont get PM off and the next day you still have to work as usual...which is very exhausting.
I find myself quite ok with 6A call..learned a lot during my call.And importantly dealing with young kids. Just don't like NICU call...dont have confidence dealing with fragile livings...
Clerked an occular myasthenia gravis case during on call, who presented with bilateral drooping of eyelids at the end of the day for one month. And assisted in doing Tensilon test!!First time seeing.
Very excited to see the kid's eyes recovered after intramuscular injection of neostigmine. Thanks to the specialist.Great inspiration to move on...
Next week will be doing 3 oncalls....sigh...Hope it is a motivating one...
I find myself quite ok with 6A call..learned a lot during my call.And importantly dealing with young kids. Just don't like NICU call...dont have confidence dealing with fragile livings...
Clerked an occular myasthenia gravis case during on call, who presented with bilateral drooping of eyelids at the end of the day for one month. And assisted in doing Tensilon test!!First time seeing.
Very excited to see the kid's eyes recovered after intramuscular injection of neostigmine. Thanks to the specialist.Great inspiration to move on...
Next week will be doing 3 oncalls....sigh...Hope it is a motivating one...
Can this does wonder to skin?Wondering
Cost me RM148 from the drug store...but heard my friend said can buy these at RM130 from usual pharmacy store. One box has 16 bottles, which give you a month of supply...
 |
| Bought this 2 weeks back....when my mood dipped down...And that time my skin developed reaction the sun.Very dry and irritated..so gotta test something claimed very powerful for youthful and soft skin...Which is the Collagen drink! Heard good commenst from a friend's brother, oh yes, brother....so i cannot control myself from buying this....NH colla-plus.. |
 |
| Thought it will taste disgusting...but seriously it tasted good...like fruit juice...and I dont feel that i am drinking any collagen form of fluid... |
 |
| So let's see whether it does wonder or not....One month time for myself... |
Tuesday, 6 November 2012
Sunday, 14 October 2012
Wednesday, 10 October 2012
Feel dumb.Blessed.Grateful
Cant believe myself.Never thought of doing this.
I've studied this page few times only...Everytime when I assisted, I couldn't really appreciate what they were doing as the Lanz incision is so small and always the abdomen layers appear to be so thick and deep to peep inside.
Not until i was offered a chance to do it two days back!
I felt so dumb for not mastering my tie knot.Since medical school i was not good...Feel like bang my head to the wall...
But i am blessed with a good registrar who taught me patiently from skin incision until we found the appendix together...
The feeling of cutting was so exciting!
When both of us found the appendix, he said:"it's all yours"...
He is such a nice MO...I will call him my BOSS...:D
Suddenly, it's so inspiring...I think I will miss this posting because of him...and some other nice MOs
Surgery posting is not that bad after all...
If I were to become a surgeon, then this is the turning point.
But I know I am not gonna be..
Of course, because of me, a simple operation that normally takes 30 minutes became one and half hour.Finally he has proceeded fast in order not to fuss up the anaest.
Anyway, feel blessed to be supervised by him and I am very grateful.:D
I've studied this page few times only...Everytime when I assisted, I couldn't really appreciate what they were doing as the Lanz incision is so small and always the abdomen layers appear to be so thick and deep to peep inside.
Not until i was offered a chance to do it two days back!
I felt so dumb for not mastering my tie knot.Since medical school i was not good...Feel like bang my head to the wall...
But i am blessed with a good registrar who taught me patiently from skin incision until we found the appendix together...
The feeling of cutting was so exciting!
When both of us found the appendix, he said:"it's all yours"...
He is such a nice MO...I will call him my BOSS...:D
Suddenly, it's so inspiring...I think I will miss this posting because of him...and some other nice MOs
Surgery posting is not that bad after all...
If I were to become a surgeon, then this is the turning point.
But I know I am not gonna be..
Anyway, feel blessed to be supervised by him and I am very grateful.:D
Tuesday, 9 October 2012
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