12/12/12

结束了今天，要等个一百年，才会从轮到有1/1/1，2/2/2，3/3/3，etc 的日子。
上世纪的人也是这么看待这一天吗？
如果今天能许个愿望，那我只有一个愿望。
不过我是 一个这样的人，不知到要许什么，最后抱头大睡算了。

Asking me to believe in God is like asking you not to believe in God.

Back to oncall system

Am doing paediatrics rotation now...whereby there's no shift system here....every week has to do 2 calls...each time has to work for 30 hours...then you get one and half day off..At least it is better than last time...where you dont get PM off and the next day you still have to work as usual...which is very exhausting.

I find myself quite ok with 6A call..learned a lot during my call.And importantly dealing with young kids. Just don't like NICU call...dont have confidence dealing with fragile livings...
Clerked an occular myasthenia gravis case during on call, who presented with bilateral drooping of eyelids at the end of the day for one month. And assisted in doing Tensilon test!!First time seeing.
Very excited to see the kid's eyes recovered after intramuscular injection of neostigmine. Thanks to the specialist.Great inspiration to move on...

Next week will be doing 3 oncalls....sigh...Hope it is a motivating one...

Can this does wonder to skin?Wondering

Cost me RM148 from the drug store...but heard my friend said can buy these at RM130 from usual pharmacy store. One box has 16 bottles, which give you a month of supply...

Bought this 2 weeks back....when my mood dipped down...And that time my skin developed reaction the sun.Very dry and irritated..so gotta test something claimed very powerful for youthful and soft skin...Which is the Collagen drink! Heard good commenst from a friend's brother, oh yes, brother....so i cannot control myself from buying this....NH colla-plus..

Thought it will taste disgusting...but seriously it tasted good...like fruit juice...and I dont feel that i am drinking any collagen form of fluid...

So let's see whether it does wonder or not....One month time for myself...

人因为追梦而不孤单。我的梦呢？

无题

我送过最特别的礼物，是部落格。。。吧？
你尽情吧。我不会打扰你。
谢谢你对我的信任。在我认为我快找不到时。

Feel dumb.Blessed.Grateful

Cant believe myself.Never thought of doing this.
I've studied this page few times only...Everytime when I assisted, I couldn't really appreciate what they were doing as the Lanz incision is so small and always the abdomen layers appear to be so thick and deep to peep inside.
Not until i was offered a chance to do it two days back!
I felt so dumb for not mastering my tie knot.Since medical school i was not good...Feel like bang my head to the wall...
But i am blessed with a good registrar who taught me patiently from skin incision until we found the appendix together...
The feeling of cutting was so exciting!
When both of us found the appendix, he said:"it's all yours"...
He is such a nice MO...I will call him my BOSS...:D
Suddenly, it's so inspiring...I think I will miss this posting because of him...and some other nice MOs
Surgery posting is not that bad after all...
If I were to become a surgeon, then this is the turning point.
But I know I am not gonna be..

Of course, because of me, a simple operation that normally takes 30 minutes became one and half hour.Finally he has proceeded fast in order not to fuss up the anaest.
Anyway, feel blessed to be supervised by him and I am very grateful.:D

如果思念是一种病 ，那我觉得我病了.
Sick.i think i'm sick.

Blister

Did bladder irrigation for a patient with haematuria.n the consequence is blister on the thumb...painful.some ppl just walk off from him because his catheter gets blocked too often.until i went and did the irrigation...hell.lots of blood clots came out.no wonder he is suffering.

世界角落

妹妹从澳洲寄来的明信片；）

Sunscreens 2

Wanted to blog about this topic for some time but always occupied. I am not that kind of people who is very obssessed with sunscreens. In fact I hate putting oily stuff on my face as I have combination & sensitive skin. My peers of my age group started to visit beauty salon as regular basis. So one day me and my good friend went to a salon and soon i found out how UV rays really cause our skin to age quickly. When the beautician placed a magnifying probe to my face and to the less exposed skin at the inner arm, I could see how the effect of ageing due to sunray, causing the disruption of the tissue elasticity...Still I decided not to pay large sum to the salon but to pay for product which is suitable for my skin.



I found this Biore UV Aqua Rich sunscreen with SPF 30 PA +++ in Watson drug store. By far this is the sunscreen product that satisfied me the most. As I have oily T zone, this water base sunscreen won't make my skin oily...and it is relatively cheap compared to branded product. The price is around RM28.



It has SPF30 PA+++, which is sufficient for daily facial usage. It has light cool "Water-like" fresh feeling, which provide you non sticky feeling. It is easily spread on skin and leaving skin soft and supple. You may even forget that you applied sunscreen, which makes it stands up from other product.
Yes i do agree with the product's claims! I dont feel like applying a sunblock! Thumb up for this product!



It has a fruity citrus smell which is quite pleasant. And contains "hyaluronic acid" :P.However it is not written whether is is sweat/ water proof. So i guess it is not invented for outdoor usage. Most of the time i apply only once when i wake up to work at 6am and when i come back from work it doesn't make my skin looks glossy and seriously it doesn't irritate my sensitive skin.(yeah, my job nature will never allow me to reapply sunscreen over and over again)



Ok, about this product. I bought this because it is made specifically for "sensitive skin"- The Eucerin White Solution Oil Control Day Fluid with SPF 30. It is for combination to oily skin, since i have sensitive skin and oily T zone, so i bought it without thinking much. It is written there it can continuosly support dull and damage skin to enhance skin regeneration from inside and balances the skin oiliness with its Micro ACTIVE Complex WHITE particles.





Despite it is so claimed "oil-control product", it makes my skin more oily. It is not so suitable for my skin, especially living in this hot climate. Instead of bringing the radiance on to my face, my face look more dull! I gave my face a chance to accept this product...but after i applied for the 3rd time, my face started to break up with blackheads and pimples.... I know i can never use this product again. So I gave it to my mom...hehe...And this product costs me RM68...

Anyhow, everyone's face is special &and may react individually. This product may not suit me but may suit for you.



世界角落

Feels good right....Thanks for all the postcards from every corner of the world...I am really touched that i am remembered.:)

Trying to imagine the places that you've been to.X)

New House

Just moved into a new place. After 7 years of life staying in hostel., eventually we got a proper house to stay:)



My new room



View from my window-Lane. On and off will see doves.



Master bed room



master bed room

Bye Bye my convocation's presents-Flowers. I have to leave you behind. But the colours will stay here forever.

在我很消极时，谢谢你。
告诉我二十五岁是珍贵宝贵岁月的开始。我会好好的过日子。让二十五到三十五岁活得灿烂绚丽的：）

父亲节快乐

感谢爸陪伴着我驾驶270公里回到怡保。每一次平安抵达都感恩。

不是我任性要驾车回家。
我只希望走惯了这崎岖曲折的路，我可以更常回家看你们。

爸爸对我们的爱从不是挂在嘴边的。
但是他们总以行动来表达。
不是每个人都会领悟。这需靠洞悉。
有者可以了解，有者却一辈子也不懂。

爸坚持从吉隆坡搭火车回吉兰丹。
为了赶得上从怡保到吉隆坡的巴士，爸来不及吃午餐就上车了。

我常常告诉他怡保有很多好吃的食物，但来不及让他品尝。
由于赶时间，只来得及买了三文治给他。
他说不饿，不用担心他。

上一代的人从来不轻易说他们累了、饿了。挨饿也会说不饿。

我带着不舍回到车上。想起他在路边买的两个buns。于是拿上巴士给爸。
看到爸正吃我买的三文治。
想必他饿坏了。

我走回车上，流泪了。

爸为了我游走了半个岛，还要挨饿挨累。我驾车只需4小时，但他为了陪我平安驾驶回来却花了24小时才可以回到家。

爸。对不起让你辛苦了。永远爱你。
父亲节快乐。

原来这是被蒙在鼓里的感觉。

那个与你很接近的人仿佛变的很遥远。很陌生。

不理了。想理别人也未必要你关心。

算了吧。自己顾好自己。

不看、不听、不问。

这是我最后能做的宽容。

TLC

Had a chance to go to palliative care unit for one week.

In palliative care unit, when a patient passes away, their family members remain calm and cool.

No denial, no anger, no hysterical cries.

Dato asked me why? I couldn't answer.

" Because at the time when the family members were told that the patient had a terminally ill disease, they already started to mourn. This is called anticipatory grief."

"So from the diagnosis to death, if it is 3 years, they have been mourning for 3 years."

"So when a patient eventually dies, it may be a relief for the family members."
No wonder. People cry hysterically when someone dies unexpectedly.

Because the death is too sudden.

Because they feel that they have not done enough for the deceased.

Because they feel guilty.

Have you ever had feeling of impending lost?
Or something important in your life is just about to, go?

It's sad to even think of it.

请尊重生命

最讨厌百忙中，还要clerk 那些想寻死的人。

死不成，还要浪费别人宝贵时间、人力资源。。。

如果你不珍惜生命了，如果可以跟不想死，却白死的人交换。

那，请交给我。可以吗？

好多人想活都没选择了，你们却在哪儿浪费生命。

多奢侈。

Tired...depressed...working for almost 20 days without a break...
I need a break, seriously gonna be depressed...
I smiled, it doesnt mean that i m happy...
I worked as usual, it doesnt mean that I enjoy it a lot lately
It's just an art of life...

Tears in Heaven

Tell me if there is heaven...

Sorrow

I cant stop, my tears just dribbling down non stop.
I cant believe that u just left us like that, this is not like you.
Not like you at all.
I hate to wear mask, but i need to wear it, so that no one can see my sorrow.
Today is such a long day...I wish I can go back to pay you last respect...
But I was just crying, for not able to go back. I feel so useless....

You are still so young....
You are still so young....

In medical field i understand that 事事无常，things are unpredictable, so inconstant. I heard of people dying each day...The patients that i once so used to chat with. Just gone when I was away for one week....

But when things happen just around you. Just dont feel like acceptable...

I feel like robotic...I didnt know what the hell I was doing the whole day.

People living, people dying, the world is still spinning non stop like nothing ever happen.

I feel like it was just yesterday, when you, as usual, call me "AUNTY"...
I remember once you said you were broke, wanted to borrow some money from me. At that time i was also very poor ...I didnt manage to borrow you...
It's just so sad that i can only give, during your funeral...

I read back the msg that you once sent me, around a month ago.
I didnt reply you....because I was too tired....
You said you have something to ask me...
I will never have chance to answer you anymore...

You called me up in one of the month, near end of the year, asked me to buy you the cage for your squirrel...I said I dont have time to go out as I am working...
Now if you ask me any favour, I will do it for you...

I remember vividly how you look like during last wedding dinner that we met in IPOH...I tried hard but i cant remember the conversation. I am so sorry....

This is so unacceptable...You are such a cheerful man. Why they try to claim you?

You are so bad, you didnt attend my convocation last year...And this year I cant attend yours....
This Chinese New Year, you never turn up as usual.
I am looking forward to the next new year. But without you, CNY will be very dull...

May you rest in peace, my nephew, my uncle ,Wee Wai Hwa.

他就这么走了，太快了。。。
从没对他微笑过。。。再也没机会了。

不知道为何我总是那么多事。。。心又软。。。

今天听到一位病人家属说：“谢谢你的电话charger,它对我很有用，我妈今早过世了。。。

我想起他昨天向我借东西时，我问他，重要吗？他说：“重要，这关系生死。。。。
如果没有的话，我没办法通知我家人来见她最后一面。。。”

我们一起塔电梯。他把charger还我。我没多说什么。电梯在八楼开了。。。
只见一个银色coffin, 他迎上去，我突然觉得很难过。

Today is the last day of CNY...
Can i start to countdown for next chinese new year?
It's my favourite season of all....I even like it more than my own birthday....

11.01.12

Today I was sent to follow our hospital blood bank drive. A meaningful present to myself.
At last manage to get 53 donours to donate their precious blood.
Although I repeated the questions and answers for so so many time while interviewing the donours, all my tiredness vanished when some of the donours wished me Happy Birthday after they spotted my tiny IC number printed on the namecard that I brought around on my labcoat.
There is also a stuff nurse sharing the same birth date with me.So happy that I am not alone.haha