缺陷与尊严.The Disabled Pride

在诊所看病。
有一个新的领悟。
其实看了太多这样的case了。有些反胃。

生病，是让人从现实生活暂时逃避的一个出口，尤其是懦弱得可怜的人。
他们宁可向病痛投降，也不愿意面对现实。因为现实往往比病痛更血淋淋！
因为一点点病痛，宁愿选择呆在家不做工整年或一世，对，是一世！
因为无法承受生活中的压力，企图把它转移别人身上。
让妻子扛起家里所有事，包括挣卑微的钱养一家大大小小和那些懦夫！

确实，你折断了一条腿是很痛，但它会痊愈的。
请在痊愈后回到工作岗位吧，别拿那些无谓的长假，长期躲在女人背后，让女人养你。不要脸。

曾经，在我很累、很颓废、很沮丧、很忧郁时，好想生一场大病，让我有时间好好休息，暂时逃避责任、喘口气。但那只是闪过脑袋的一丝想法。往往有这种想法时，都会吸口气，甩掉它。

那些人，简直滥用生病的权利！
生病时当然会得到相对合理的病假，但那不是理所当然的权利。
有者甚至只因为plantar fasciitis（即heel那里生了骨刺而导致脚板疼痛）而想借此申请成为OKU-即orang kurang upaya.

明明可以走路，怎会有人宁可选择当残障人士也不愿工作？不明白。。。
当身体有缺陷的人很努力的想有正常的生活时，却也有正常的人努力想变成残障人士。。。



努力的生活着，即使卑微的工作，即使有缺陷，却也活得有尊严。。。



倘若没人可依靠，没选择时，你会选择什么？smile and embrace life or become dependant?

I know things are going on the track now...
i've went through the nadir point of these...
But i still feel that I am far away from something...
I am lost.
Am I too far away from home?
Have to be strong!

1

I am hungry...why am I looking at food blog...stop and go to sleep!
Trying hard to beat carbohydrate craving!!
__________________________________________________________________________________

Today was the first time I was late to work place....woke up at 6.52am despite slept earlier the night before...rushed to work at 7.15am...reached ward 7.20am...only able to review one patient and rushed to daily pass over round at 7.30am...Luckily I wasn't permanent houseman...was posted at clinic from morning until 5pm,that's the happiest moment.No ward works,yay!:) then A&E shift from 5-9pm.clerked one open fracture..Around 9pm when was about to leave,2 patients deteriorated simultaneously and needed resuscitation in the ward, which is rare occasion as there wont be many emergency cases for orthopaedics other than fat embolism, open fracture, compartment syndrome,blah blah...in reality. Stayed back to be Kepochi...to learn how to resus patient,practically.The scariest thing that i am afraid to encounter now is when patient collapses, I will be panic and alone and dont know what to do.So it is good to stay back and helped the senior houseman...So that i know what to look for next time when patient collapses.

Will be attending Basic Life Support course on 20/12/11. Hope it is helpful.

Acute病床的一位病人今天离去了。
看着他多日了，愿以为他可以活下去的，却离开了。
而隔壁病床病得很重的病人，已经被CPR一次，Intubated两次，全身长满scabies，因为necrotising fasciitis得败血症而被迫据掉整条腿至hip joint，因为生命顽固得很，活了下来，且正康复中。大家原本以为他死定了。。。

伤感是有些，但必须转身，因为ward里一堆事情处理，连哀悼的时间都没，就必须处理病人们的点点滴滴。。。
不是没人性，只是负担不起屡次受伤，所以冷漠。

白蛇传说

看这部戏时心不在焉，很爱睡，故事情节真的不太记得，但是有留意到大美女黄圣依和这首歌，唱歌还不错。。。戏里看到很多熟悉的影子，好像在看avatar,2012,etc...

Gemuruh

其实我国也有蛮多好听的歌曲，就如这一首来自faizal tahir很有Inspiration的歌。第一次听这首歌是在大学，是马大其中一年的迎新歌~~从来都不知道这首歌什么名字，终于在facebook上看到了！
很有semangat的一首歌！



其实有时觉得马来rock song更加有看头。。。

It's my Convo:06-10-2011!

Thanks to Hock Chai and Francios!for this cute penguin!
Skin Food facemask from Buddies!

Look yummies to skin!

Teddy bears from lovely cousin...

All the flowers that were given to me:were captured at the most brilliant moment~their colours will stay forever here....



My favourites:sunflowers and chocolates!
The cute angry birds!Thanks to ah Kiang

Thanks to Shenq Jang!

Perfume by UMITIANs~~Thanks for remembering me!

And last but not least....Ang Paus from dearest relatives!

And few more presents which I am unable to show now because my camera threw tantrum immediately after my convo...sigh!

Thanks to all!

医龙

用u-mobile在线上看漫画,速度还蛮快叻~！又找到另一个娱乐了！

“教授是大老爷，一众医生是大臣，病人是领民。”

Mask

Attended department meeting with a mask on, for upper respiratory tract infection.
Dr J asked me a question.I was asked to answer.
Him: What's your name?I cant recognise you with the mask on. Please take it down.
Me: Ok. (took it down).I am Ong.
Him: Ok, even with your mask down I also can't remember who you are.
Me: Ok. (无奈,cant help but shrugging)
Him: Ok, you can put on your mask now. I can understand why you are putting your mask on...

=-='

Medical Student/Houseman Trapped In Revolution

When I entered university for MBBS degree 5 years back,
Never I thought that, the day when the number of housemans flourish excessively, will be the day when I was in 3rd year(2008). The number of houseman being produced during that year doubled from 1000 to 2000+
Everything was so peaceful until when I was in 3rd year, our lecturers and professors began to complain about the drastic increment of the number of houseman...
Some foresee that the future housemans will be undertrained because of their huge number and as the consequence of inbalance specialist to housemansss ratio...
When I was in 4th and 5th year, the issue is so hot...and never can be solved...
By the time I graduated, the number of houseman produced per year is 4000....
And this year the government finally plan " to do something"...which is stop giving permission to build new medical school...
And so we are, trapped in this transition and revolution.

I just finished my Induksi at Lumut, Perak...
This year, quite a number of us got posted to distric hospital with specialist. We got our 4th choice...Ya...not in our application form...
I was initially sent to a recently upgraded district hospital in MY HOMETOWN.
However, I made an appeal...
Even though I know all the big general hospitals currently are cramped with housemans...
I dont know whether my decision was correct or not. It can turn out to be detrimental to my housemanship and to my training. People used to say housemanship is the most important part of our career...
I am on the way to explore it...

Finally I got my appeal approved, to a general hospital.
I told one of my good friend, I am afraid I will regret regarding the decision I made.
I am afraid I will regret not because of the place that I go will be cramped and full of housemans, but the chances that I let go, to serve in a district hospital...
It might be a better option for those who trapped under this revolution or transition...
Who knows?

To be continued...

New Hairstyle

This is my original hair...a bit wavy,very healthy, yet difficult to manage, and I can't go out without tying a pony tail...It's so embarrassing to go out with a leonine-like hair..


Instead of half curly, let's make it 100% curly so I can go out without being embarrassed...haha...


I just don't know how to adjust the flash...looks so pale, so geli...
Up until now, 2x rebondings and 2x curly hair...Tie~
What else can girls do to their hair??
Don't tell me to go bald...

Tips for medical students entering intern year

Another article posted by a friend in FB.

http://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2011/06/tips-medical-students-entering-intern-year.html

After reading, maybe a bit of relief,huh? Eh............

Poppy

If only I can know what you are dreaming of....

So nice, support your head with the gate...
So nice, if I can stay at home like you do, without worrying where I will be posted.
So nice, if I can stay at home like you do, without afraid of being lonely.
So nice, if I can stay at home like you do, without worrying how my future will be.
So nice, If I can stay at home like you, I can accompany Pa&Ma to watch their soap opera...
So nice to be at home...

I don't wanna work!!!I feel so insecure!

On Doing Medicine

Wanna become a doctor?
You can check on the below link which, was shared by my friends on facebook. An article to ponder...

Undeniable, it is quite demotivating for those who wants to be a doctor. But, it is true in many aspects...it encompasses updates for the current system and situation in our country too...

http://http//pagalavan.com/2010/09/07/for-future-doctors-general-misconception-of-being-a-doctor-part-1/

http://pagalavan.com/education/for-future-doctors-general-misconception-of-being-a-doctor-part-2/

A mother asked me, whether it is okay to let her daughter, who is currently doing a "Pre-medical" programme for 5 weeks at X university, to study medicine...
Instead of promoting how good it is to study medicine, I told her all the downsides of doing medicine first...
Ya, maybe I wasn't suppose to say that.
It's better to tell the worse truthful facts first, so the mother and daughter will have anticipation of what kind of field she is going to embark on...
If she is still adamant, then good. She most probably can complete the 5 years course with her will.

I told her importantly, this is what your daughter wants... (and not what u wish)
I've seen friends who study medicine to fulfill their parents's vanity.
Despite so much of arguments, parents still believe medicine is the best for their brilliant children. There will be halos above their head wherever they go.
This is so wrong. Some give up themselves, some stop going to class, some stop attending lectures, even lose passion to do everything.

What I see is most people start studying medicine with great passions...
Or precisely before studying medicine people are so engross to pursue a place in medicine, but once they start their passion started to wear off day by day...
The passions are all eaten up by failure to pass the exams in medical school; feeling dumb at all times; feeling exhausted all the time due to busy schedule; being drilled and sometimes even humiliated by the superiors(to make u stronger of course...); sleep deprive; stressful environment,lack of freedom, etc...

If the will of becoming a doc is not from yourself, then forget about it...
It is hard to find reasons to keep going on when you encounter failures, or the above mention...

She ask me anxiously why doing medicine is so so tough, then you still choose to do it???
As if I wouldn't have ended up talking like that if I were to love medicine so much...
I said, I never thought that it will be so difficult, especially to deal with the pressure of passing the final exams....and no one ever tell me these~~~
It's not honest oso to tell you all the benefits of becoming a doctor without telling you the downsides. Always tell the good and bad things so that people can weigh it themselves.

Of course, doing medicine, at times, are rewarding...

At last, I wish her and her daughter all the best.

So good huh, nowadays, some universities offer "Premedical course"...
I totally agree with that.

3 Idiots

3 Idiots, an Indian movie starring Aamir Khan and Kareena Kapoor~One of my favourite. It's a very inspiring comedy. It makes us ponder about the current education system.. This movie made me laugh and cheer up my gloomy day during final year....

Free to be watched from youtube~



Can't find the official trailer which has English subtitle. But the above is a classic one from the movie. There are more to laugh from this movie.

Stepping Stones

Once you understand what is a stepping stone, then you will feel relieved of what you are doing...

Stepping stone, like an elevator, to reach something higher, something you really desire.

Sometimes life is not that straight forward.

In "Beautiful Boxer", a Thailand movie based on a true story of how a man become a woman. He embarked himself into brutal kick boxing in order to earn money, so that he could undergo operation to become a woman.

Professional kick-boxer is not her destiny. Her destiny is, a woman. How paradoxical and irony, that, he plunged himself into a masculine world in order to reach to the feminine self.



Tun Mahatir himself does not want to become a doctor at first place. He wanted to study law. But his family could not afford. And he got scholarship to do medicine. So he did. Because he wanted to become a leader, he wanted to be heard.
Politics and leadership is his destiny. Doctor, not.

People might say life is short to fulfill so many dreams.
But, never forget what you really want to be.
Whatever you endure, just treat it as a stepping stone.

Dream 1

I am starting to have different kind of dreams at night recently...
This is a bad sign...I seldom remember my dreams.
This means subconsciously, I am experiencing subtle stress!
I am going to Marina Island Resort Pangkor this coming 14 June for Induksi.
During Induksi, I will know where I will be placed for housemanship.
So reluctant to get back to work...
I guess realizing that holiday is coming to an end is a stress...

I was having this horror dream in my sister's room...
Just saja wanna sleep in her room...without her consent...hehe

Sleep paralysis struck me in the middle of the night...Something was pulling my head. It's pulling me to the right side...I couldn't move my body.I tried to resist...I tried very hard to open my eyes, when I finally succeed, I was kind of iffy whether I saw a dark blurry figure or merely a shadow of the corner...
Lucliky I am short-sighted.
I was scared, thinking of the ghost story that my cousins once told me(something wanna drag her down the bed)...
I tried to scream but to no avail as if my voice was swallowed...
Finally, I found myself could move again...I was frightened...
I ran to my mother's room quickly to sleep with her...
And then I was asleep...

When I woke up, I found out that I was stil sleeping in my sister's room.
Again, I forced myself to wake up and went to my mother's room...
I fell asleep and woke up, and Hell! I found myself was still trapping in my sister's room...

And it went on and on...
I was trying to escape...But I was trapped.When would I break the cycle?
I was confused...which was real...which was dream...??

残废

残而不废，值得钦佩。
不残而废，被人唾骂。

DIY mask

Ok. I am experimenting the DIY yoghurt+oatmeal mask as the beauty guru said it is beneficial to the skin~Most importantly the ingredients are easily available and it is natural~Which means it is mild to skin~

Before starting to work days and nights, need something to nourish my skin~~


Wah...looks like a ghost...aghast!


Nvm, I have Mom to accompany me...

And the result after 15 mins: smooth and supple skin~

It really works~

Sunscreens~

Today I learn some facts about sunscreen. I seldom put them on my face, as it makes my skin oily, unless I am playing outdoor activities whereby I will let the sun kisses my skin. But it is interesting to know and some more being mid 20s is an awkward age...The skin condition is at its peak and it is going to deteriorate afterwards if we don't take good care!
Thanks to The Star,educated me regarding this topic.

I know there are UVA and UVB, but I do not know the fact that UVA penetrates deeper into our skin and causes damage to the DNA in our cell.UVA is also the culprit behind wrinkling and photoageing. Whereas, UVB causes sun burn.

SPF, which is the key words that most of us concern about when purchasing a sun block, is used to shield UVB, to prevent sun burn. It does not give the protection towards UVA.
The higher the SPF number, means the longer you can stay under the sun without getting sun burn. It does not offer higher protection.

Before this, I thought SPF could shield both UVA and UVB।
It turns out that the "PA+" is the one that shields the UVA.
"PA" stands for Protection Grade of UVA.
PA+ is sufficient for most activities but if you intend to stay longer under the sun, opt for higher PA like PA+++.
The presence of certain compounds like:zinc oxide, titanium dIoxide,avobenzone in the sunscreen help to deflect the UVA.

And so I dig out all the sunscreens that I have. Found few bottles, as I will never able to finish them...
Sunplay sunscreen, SPF130 PA++, by far, the highest SPF that you can find in the market. Water resistant, liquid base and non sticky. Small amount for great surface area. Really non-sticky. Easily portable as its size is small...

Bought this from Krabi, Thailand. Cant find this in M'sia. The latest sun block from Nivea. Suitable for sea& beach activities. SPF50 PA++, with immediate COLLAGEN and DNA protection! This is really new. Water resistant and claims non-sticky(which i still find it a bit sticky). Good thing about this product is you don't have to apply 20mins prior to outdoor activity, its effect is immediate~and when I wash it off, my skin feel soft and supple~this may be attributed to the collagen in it. Bad thing: need great amount to cover the body compared to liquid base Sunplay product.+sticky~

Banana Boat Sport, SPF 50, UVA&UVB protection, sweat resistant, water resistant, fragrance free and non-greasy. No PA written on it. But the ingredients include oxybenzone, can be used to shield UVA. Still find it a bit greasy...

Nano White Omega Day Shield, sunscreen for the face, with SPF50. The sign "++" is confusing. Does it imply SPF50++ which means SPF more than 50,(which is actually more than adequate for face!) of contains PA++? I dont feel greasy or oily with this product. It can be used as moisturiser as well.

At last, how much of sunshine is sufficient for us to prevent Vitamin D deficiency??

The answer is 5-30 minutes of sun exposure for 2 times a week!
So say no to more than that~~

Spree!

Had spending spree at the drug store:Watson and Guardian!
Sigh...tempted because of the promotions...

Bought the sleeping mask that I've been longing for a long time:the Bio-essence sleeping mask, I guess it's the best for lazy people like me, who dislike to lay on the bed doing nothing and seeing nothing with a typical mask on the face.
I hope my sensitive skin won't reject it...pls pls pls...
If it does, then I'll have to pass it to my sis...hehe.
If it doesn't, I hope it will make my skin moisturized, and helps defend against ageing!
Muahaha...

Haleeva Sunshine Hotel

Ok, this will be my first time to write a review on a hotel.
I found out reviews are very useful after I read it from tripadvisor.co.uk.
I would like to pay compliments to Haleeva Sunshine Hotel at Ao Nang, Krabi, Thailand.
The manager, Sun, is a friendly guy. He speaks good English. So do his staffs, use understandable English. As I say, you don’t have to worry whether you can speak Thai or not at place like Ao Nang, Krabi.
We felt warm and comfortable staying at Haleeva Hotel.

Being a traveling student, of course we want everything economical and within our budget. We rent the room with RM50 per pax (RM100 per room for standard room). And it is worthwhile.
Despite being rated as 3 stars hotel, but the service, cleanliness and politeness of the staff are 5 stars in standard.
The location is very strategic. It is about 5-10 minutes walk to the beach. Along the walk, you will find stores, restaurants and massaging&spa centres.
The 7-11 24 hours store is just within 1 minute walk.
There is a motorcycles rental shop at the hotel’s front door. We rent a bike for RM20 per day. Not far away (within 30s of ride), there is a fuel station where you can top up the fuel for RM3.50 per L. Honestly, it is very cheap if you want to travel to Krabi Town or explore Ao Nang/Krabi Town by using motorcycle.
Anyway, if you don’t have any idea, there are tourist information centres within 1 minute walk. You can get free pamphlets or map of Ao Nang. The hotel itself provides packages, tours, and information to customers. We made our booking to Phi Phi island through the counter.

Sun, the manager, like his name, has bright characteristic. He is a very helpful and informative guy. He would recommend us what restaurant to go, where to visit and even spend time to draw map for us. In case we get lost, we can even call him for help. He even took effort to remember our names. We have 6 people and he could remember all of us!

His staffs also showed hospitality.
Will definitely recommend this hotel to my friends.
Next time can stay at room with Jacuzzi~~>-<

Motorbike rental service just one step from the front door of the hotel.

想看。。。

现在很想看。。。

侯文咏的《白色巨塔》。是的，1999年的作品，我过时了。

"Water For Elephant", 两年前在书展里发现的一本书，很想买，可是那本是翻译的书，我比较喜欢原文。而且书皮烂了，所以我没买。

好吧，若在书店看到，就会买。还是有谁肯借给我看？
虽然有家里还有很多读物，好比Dalai Lama的My Spiritual Journal，Tun Mahathir的A Dr In the House（很厚的一本书！），Naseem 的The Crying Tree...都是妈妈买的。

可是阅读很看心情的。。。
有时可以只看报纸。有时很想看文学。有时科幻，有时哲学、漫画；有时候爱情哲学、爱情故事。

Kelantan Trip 2

At only one glance, you will think this is just another typical Chinese temple in Kelantan...
But wait, don't be fooled...

This is actually a MOSQUE, yes, a Muslim mosque, called Beijing Mosque at Rantau Panjang, Kelantan.


This mosque is very unique in its way. It is a fusion of Chinese and the Islamic architecture.

Even the gate resembles the Chinese style.

Close up for the gates.

Etiquettes when the entering the vicinity/compound of the mosque: proper attire covering the aurat(of course it includes the genitalia. In Kelantan, wearing appropriately conservative means you are suppose to cover your arms/forearms, and preferably above the ankles), courtesy and good manners...etc...

In Kelantan, there is no dress code or restriction for non-Muslim. But, being a conservative state, people will stare and gaze at you if you are wearing too inappropriately exposed. People always have misconception, that non-Muslim women in Kelantan are required to wear tudung(veil). In fact, by using common sense, there is no such rule.

There are many(20+) temples at Tumpat, they are greatly influenced by Thailand.

The Standing Buddhas...The Buddha at the front is smaller, whereas the standing Buddha at the back stands at 49 foot...

Wat=Temple



The Dragon Boat Temple, or Wat Maisuwankiri, is the most impressive to me so far, for its spectacular carvings on the pillars, or precisely the whole building, is finely and creatively carved. The above board says : This temple is located at Kampung Bukit Tanah in Tumpat. It is said to have been concstructed around 400 years ago by expert craftsmen from Thailand...Cost: RM300,000. Width:4 hectares. It hosts a number of celebration like Wesak Day and Lunar Chinese New Year...

The interior and exterior of the building is fully engraved.

What's so special about the carvings? They are all "3D" carvings...you can feel the buddha bulging out...

All the pillars are decorated with the Buddha carvings, and painted in gold colour.

This was not the first time I went to Dragon Boat Temple, but this was the first time I looked thoroughly to its extensively engraved walls and pillars, and I was amazed. How much time the craftsmen spent to produce this breathtaking carvings?

It would be nice if I have a DSLR camera...A typical digital camera is not good enough to mimic our vision.

And this is where the temple gots its name...The Dragon Boat...



The Sleeping Buddha Temple, Wat Phothivihan.

The lion? sculpture at Sleeping Buddha Temple (Wat Phothivihan)

This sleeping Buddha measures 40m long, is said to be the biggest statue in South-East-Asia.

There are 12 different Buddha statues which represent 12 zodiacs at Sleeping Buddha Temple. Posing with my zodiac...TIGER...haum...

There is story drawn at the base of the big Buddha sculpture.

Thousand hands Guan Yin sculpture（千手观音). I like sculpture with bright colour~~

Wat Machimmaram. The Sitting Buddha.

The enormous Buddha sitting on top of the temple.

Again, carved picture depicting story and journey of enlightenment of Buddha all along the wall interiorly. Above: Buddha saw people being tortured cruelly in the hell.

Brilliantly coloured.

People living in the hell, pleading to be forgiven...from being cooked in the hot pot...

Dont know what the picture trying to tell.with naked humans climbing on the tree full with thorns..Dogs and eagle are trying to hunt them...maybe it means this world is fulled of ppl trying to torture another by forcing them with dire situation.or it's human basic instinct to survive despite physically hurt ..or simply means punishments for the wrong things they did in the past?.......