Midnight

哎，为什么大家那么早睡，害我半夜三更百般无聊。。。

妹妹说，写日记的人，都很容易换上忧郁症，因为他们都放不下过去，对于某些事情久久无法释怀。我觉得，把身边的事、物记录下来的原因因人而异吧。。。如果是我，我会把事物或心情记录下来，是因为我是个健忘的人。认识我的人都应该领教过我的糊涂。对于此事我深感抱歉，我会尽量改善，呵呵。。。不知为何，有时觉得自己生活犹如在梦境般，只活在自己的世界，对于周遭的事物都不敏感，很悲吧～～。把生活的点滴记录下来，数年后再翻读回去，才惊觉原来我有活着，我是有记忆的。。。数年后再翻读，可以看看自己当时曾有怎样的心情，现在的心情是否也一样？
把心情化作文章，是一种发泄，也是一种表达方式。自认自己的表达能力不好，也是一种习惯。自小，我习惯把所有喜怒哀乐往肚里吞。因为没有人可以聆听我。我不习惯和别人分享心事，因为我觉得没有安全感，害怕别人会取笑我，也很难相信一个人。要相信一个人，必须花上很久的时间。。。
今天翻回自己的心情写照。看见了夹在内的一封信。信是燕铌写给我的。收到那封信的时候，也是我最失意、最寂寞、最没方向感的时候。那时仍在matrik读书。信上有提及我送她的一首诗，那首诗可以用以形容彼此的心情及感受：“Best friends are like four leaves clover, hard to find and lucky to have. Best friends are the siblings God forget to give us. When it hurts to look back, and you’re scared to look ahead, you can look besides you, and your best friend will always be there…”
朋友，我只想告诉你，不管你的决定是什么，是要在本地大学读呢，还是漂洋过海去新加坡念书，我都支持你。因为我相信你的能力。不管你去哪里，不管你读什么，只要你肯，都能闯出一片天空，因为你是林燕铌。。。
~02.06.2007~

sorry

i seldom dream(in fact we dream 4,5 times every night,just we don't realise n don't remember).maybe i don't think too much b4 i fall asleep...n maybe my memory is not good,so i can't remember what i dreamt.i only dream when the important exam approaches, i always dream that i am late to the exam hall, or i 4get that i have exam on particular day, or i overlseep, or i cant finish my exam paper....

i could only remember the last sentence dad told me b4 i woke up at 10.10am on 28 May. During the last few seconds, dad said:an appology is better than creating a disastrous problem....maybe i was thinking Hann's incident b4 i slept,that's y i dreamt such thing.i think dad is right, sometimes we should say sorry b4 it's too late. u won't lose anything saying the word.in our daily life we often say sorry when we did wrong like stepping on ppl's foot,or whn u accidentally hit someone....etc....but when it come to serious case,or when u hurt somebody's feeling, you found out it's hard to say that word.

i am a person who never say sorry easily in a quarrel...maybe my zi4 zun1 xin1 is strong,or mayb i am a tough person n ren4xing4.i feel sorry to my best fren.when we had an argument when we was young, usually i was the last person to say sorry even i was wrong. now,i learnt to say sorry before it's too late....

And i want that fellow to say sorry to my brother too!

hair

i regret that i let the barber trimmed my hair yesterday.it become so light n thin now....anyway,cant deny that it is easy to manage my hair.whenever i go to barber shop,sure they'll complaint bout my hair:thick n dry...but i think they make a conclusion too fast,they havent's seen yeen's and annni's super thick hair yet....

what happen to my brother?

now i am alone at da yi house...a bit boring...gui1 xin1 shi4 jian4...i need to hear my mom tell me about hann's story.i am quite worry actually.yesterday called yeen but she was sleeping i dun wanna disturb.n my hp got not enuff credit.
mom never tell me about that story...i just heard from kayryn n she ask me not to question mom except mom wanna tell me....i feel so sad for my brother...i just feel like i want to cry..how could the teacher did this to him??being his elder sister i just want to protect him.as far as i know,Hann is a naive kid.even though sometimes he is naughty n bad-tempered,he will never simply insult ppl especially ppl not his family member,or elder ppl like teacher,because he doesn't dare to do so.He's bad-tempered only in the house,coz when he get angry from outside,he doesnt know how to show it,n can only express it when he's at home....so Impossible he will insult the teacher.even if he do so, most probably he didn't notice he committed the mistake.He is innocent and Naive!!just a kid!
i chatted with yeen when i was writing blog.from the info she told me,it seems like the teacher,Mr Bxzlx, misunderstood hann.He considered that was an insult to himself.n so what??does that mean he can simply slap an innocent student in front of 30 students n punched his nose some more????what a stupid n childish act!!i feel so angry!
how could a so-called "human soul engineer" gave such punishment to my brother?instead he's destroying a kid's fragile soul.if i were the victim i will hate this teacher for all of my life...anyway,i still have to investigate,whether it's my bro fault or the teacher's fault.
i just wonder y dad had to go to school n made an apologise?isn't it he has the obligation to protect his son??how could he said sorry to the teacher who hit n punched his son?didn't he feel heartache??
mom n dad didn't know the incident until the school authority called home and demanded dad to go school for a meeting.hann didn't tell bout the incident coz he was scared,being scolded by parents...yeen said even now he doesn't realise the mistake he made coz he shows no angry to Mr B.nevertheless,i am afraid that this incident will leave a scar in his heart that no one knows...

a continuation of my world

this blog was created for me to express my feelings,opinions,thoughts and some trivial things that not all ppl bother to know.so i think it is more suitable to post my blog here.for those who are interested to know about me u are welcome to view my blog...for those who are not interested u can just close the window box of this blog.i'll keep update this blog if i have time.

Hmm...long time ago,i began to fall in love with green colour.it's colour of nature.a soothing colour..that's y i chose this as a template...