如果这就是爱

谁的理想2

那一天我问你，你喜欢现在的生活吗？有后悔吗？
你说，其实生活过得还好，你没有后悔。
我很安慰。
我说：会累吗？你说：习惯了。。。
你说：是时候改变了。。。我说：是吗？是attitude要改变吗？
你说：It is the SYSTEM that should be changed!

今天我忘了上课。。。竟然没到。。。
我要反省了。
告诉我自己：
睡觉已经没那么重要了，要是你再这样下去，改天当houseman肯定是个被标为不负责任的人。。。
你要照顾病人的QOL,而不是自己的。不要再想往什么QOL-quality of life了。。。你的生活只有quantity。。。改天除了无数quantity的oncall,还是quantity。。。谁撑得最久谁就是赢家。。。

就算我再喜欢当医生，喜欢我所读的、所做的，我也不会喜欢上这样的生活。
态度是能够改变的。穷则变，变则通，通则久。
但你不能强迫一个人喜欢自己想读、想做的。
我是可以适应这样的生活。ganbate.

谁的理想

When can i stop using kodomo lion???It is tasteless!Dont feel refreshed at all
after using~~!!

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羡慕你的自由、羡慕你懂得享受人生。。。
羡慕你漂亮的人生舞台。引你为傲。。。
一路顺风~bon voyage

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那一天你问我, 为什么读医科?is this your ambition?
这是个回答了千百遍的问题。但我总是敷衍、漫不经心地回答。
我还是被你冷不防的问题愣住了。
是的，有多少人真正的想当医生？
你诚实的告诉我，这是你父母的理想。。。
对你的处境感到辛酸，但却很欣赏你可以面对、接受这样的生活。。。
也欣赏你这样坦荡荡的说出来。
我告诉你，我不是医人，就会跑去医动物。我家人说，医人比医动物好。。。
我没意见，况且我能通过别的方法，帮助动物~

很多时候，我们说，这是我的理想啊。。。
是因为，我们不敢承认，我们实现的不是我们的理想，而是别人的理想。
我们不敢承认因为我们不够勇敢。。
如果说因为成绩好而读医科，觉得这是理所当然，那你是背负着社会的理想，不是自己的。。。
其实背负着谁的理想没关系，人非完美，要对自己诚实就对了。。。

泛滥的爱

对于太过泛滥的爱，不太认同。
一定要表现得爱，才有爱吗？
真的爱，不能埋藏在心底吗？
有些感情事，如果时时把它戏剧化，就真的只剩下戏了，那还有什么意义？

认为被爱得不够，是不是因为不明白什么叫“守候”。。。
爱不需要被歌颂，它只需要被感觉。。。

In Love with Karen Mok~~

好听的编曲。。。独特的歌声~

post call

yesterday was my 2nd on call. it was a success coz i did not sleep and manage to deliver 2 babies and did 2 partial episiotomy repair...i feel sorry for my patient for hurting them.i m very grateful that they allow me to learn from them...
i took a nap from 6.30am...thought of waking up at 8.30am and go to tutorial class at 9am...
i dozed off and eventually my friend called me at 9.30am...as usual, i could not sort out what was happening in a short time...and then...SHIT...i was late for class...my heart was pounding very fast...i was very tired but with all my will, i hurried to the class...i cant imagine if this happen if i were a houseman now...luckily i wasn't scold for being late...she should have scolded me...
3 more on calls to go...jia you jia you....

I am Back.

Yeah!after spending one month of "isolation" at Banting Hospital, I am back!
If you longed for solitude and tranquil life, Banting is a good place.

Quite anxious for next posting, Obstetric posting where we are required to conduct 5 deliveries and do episiotomy repair...what a bloody job..

Read "The Best Laid Plan" by Sidney Sheldon which i borrowed from library of Blok Kuliah. It is recommended by JQ.
And another book entitled " Falling Leaves" by Adeline Yen Mah.

"The Best Laid Plan" is quite a good fiction book if u dont like too many emotional descrtiptions. Dialogues are plenty. It's more like reading a drama then a book. If u wanna try simple fiction, fast pace, without bewildered by bombastic words, this book is a pleasure.

"Falling Leaves" is sista's book. It's an autobiography of Adeline Yen Mah, an unwanted Chinese daughter of a wealthy family. I salute this author for her superb English(maybe my level is too low for her book), her determination to survive a lonely childhood, and her forgiveness towards her families in everything including betrayal of trust.

Few things i derived from this books: Indulgence of beauty of a father, who became irrational and ignorant to the author. most of the time when ppl are trying hard to content their children physically and materially, what really lack of is emotional necessity.

I tend to like books with emotional involvement, books where i can derive a lot of thoughts.
Maybe most of the time i tend to be emotionally detached from reality...
Which if u care much, u hurt yourself much...
I wish I could shed tears whenever I feel sad. I wish I could be fragile.
It become nebulous since when I picked up this camourflage?
Maybe this is what I am trying to search in those books, the long lost emotion for certain things.

醉

醉了的感觉是这样吗？

觉得很热，又轻飘飘的。很想吐。。。

很不好受。。。觉得身体都吃坏了。。。

这次并没睡着。。。

她们说我醉了都会睡觉。。。

这是四杯红酒下肚的后果。但我还很清醒。

可以写case summary,不错吧。。。